So it’s October 2021 and it’s gotten to the point where it’s happening and we need to talk about it. #toxicbehaviour
Lockdown gave us lots of time to reflect…
Now that we are living in the post Lockdown/ Covid Era where there are enough toxic, harmful elements floating around, we should be apt at recognising when we are in toxic places, situations and environments.
Don’t @ me, read and receive.
In my experience, toxic behaviour can stem from many different sources. Jealousy. Envy. Insecurity. To name a few. When you tell people that someone is jealous of you they may think that you are being ‘arrogant,’ so perhaps just don’t tell them. However, you know within yourself that people are treating you somehow… I will give you some examples of what I have perceived to be toxic traits and you can decide for yourself whether you have experienced it.
My tongue is the pen of a worthy writer (Psalms 45:1) hence I share with you my thoughts.
Things that I have come to realise . . .
Toxic behvaiour can disguise itself in many ways and can stem from a variety of different sources and spirits. Some people exhibit toxic behavior traits as a result of having gone through trauma or perhaps they have faced rejection in life. This does not in any way excuse the behaviour but it does help us to be able to understand and to discern the source.
The word, “toxic” is an adjective used to describe something that is harmful; unpleasant; even poisonous. That means that some places, people and situations are poisonous.
Oftentimes spirits of rejection and jealousy can manifest themselves in toxic behavior traits e.g. attention-seeking behavior, exaggerating, ignoring or refusing to acknowledge someone for their contributions. This can happen in places of work, friendships, relationships anywhere. We have to ensure that we are able to recognise toxic places and relationships in our lives. It’s 2021 love yourself enough to walk away from places, situations and environments that exhibit toxic traits.
Oftentimes we can end up staying in toxic places because we have convinced ourselves that we are being the ‘bigger person.’ We may convince ourselves that things will get better. Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and a place to be the bigger person; there is also a time to walk away from people, places and situation that are poisnous.
Toxic means poisonous. Poison leads to death. There are some people, places and situations that we need to remove ourselves from – life or death.
You may want to reconcile with everyone and see the best in people but even Jesus had to wipe the dust off His feet and keep it moving.
In Matthew 10:14 Jesus said that when you go into a city to share the good news if people do not welcome you then let your peace return to you. When you leave that home or town, shake the dust off your feet.
We need to apply this principle to toxic behavior, let your peace return to you; wipe the dust off your feet and walk.
You should also “pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44).
It can happen in the work place when a spirit of comparison falls upon someone. There are some people out there who would rather lose than see you win. You can read that again and it will say the same thing. If you’re on a team with someone who does not want to see you progress it’s toxic. When you win, the whole team wins but they would rather lose. #toxic There are times where I have experienced toxic behaviour but it was not time for me to leave yet, so I had to stay there with my gas mask on like Daniel in the Lions den. He was in the lion’s den but the lions couldn’t touch him. Then there are other times when God has clearly shown me that it is time to go.
I look at toxic environments as places covered in green smoke, it’s hard to see clearly when the room is filled with green smoke. This is why we pray. Listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. If God is leading you away from certain people, places and situations there is a reason for that. Trust God. Sometimes it’s not the person, it’s the spirit behind the person.
If you feel like you can do no right because they will always find fault in what you’re doing – it’s toxic. If they refuse to acknowledge you or your contributions, stop overlooking things cos you’re inviting disrespect. It’s toxic. Some people think that one sided relationships are normal. Some people due to the trauma that they have experienced in life, process things in an odd way. Due to an imbalanced fear of rejection they either become overly possessive, jealous or reliant. They expect people to go out of their way to prove that they ‘care’ about them whether it’s reciprocated or not. If you fall into a trap of feeling like you need the persons validation, you will find yourself doing too much. Remember, the attention-seeking life is real life to some people.
If you feel like you’re constantly having to feed into someone’s insecurities. It’s toxic. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to care about people. However, when they start manipulating you and expecting you to constantly ‘prove’ yourself then it’s time. The gift of goodbye. If you find yourself overthinking or becoming emotionally drained by someone’s behavior. #itstime
In addition, it is good to do what 2 Corinthians 13:5 says; examine ourselves and see that we are in the faith. You don’t want to be that person acting on your insecurities, seeking validation or acting like people constantly need to prove something to you. Let us continue to examine ourselves that we are not exhibiting toxic traits.
God is faithful, if you pray and approach Him with an open heart He will show you what needs to be seen. The only thing is, once God has shown you what you need to see it’s up to you to make the next move. It’s 2021 (twenty one years into the new millennium) we’re here because we’ve got places to go and things to accomplish in life.
Don’t just stay in a toxic place; inhaling poisonous gas and then wonder why you’re choking!
#walk #pray #slay
In other news:
2021 has lived up to its name as the Year of Sustainable Growth. I will be hosting a FREE “Achieve your Dream” webinar tomorrow. In this webinar I will talking more about how I approach “impossible-looking dreams” if you would like to attend then go to: www.desiriokobia.com/masterclass to register.
You can also go onto my website www.desiriokobia.com/free-gift and download a FREE copy of my e-book, “It’s a Millennial Thing – The Top 5 Ways to Achieve your Dreams Fast.”
My latest book is in production stages: “Message to my Maidservants” coming soon🌹
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